Anxiety, hell demon

We all know what anxiety is, but no one expect anxious can truly understand the meaning of anxiety, i called it hell demon sent to earth I know it sounds strange, but what if someone dies of anxiety? Does it make any sense? I don’t think someone would ever die of it….i am talking about physical death not emotional because, in this world peoples who dies of physical death are valued the person who died inside is merely a “traumatized” comes to the point I am experiencing the worst anxiety and mood instability, no no don’t get me wrong I hadn’t any bad past experience my counsellor asks if i had and I get tired of making them believe i am not that sort of person who takes everything seriously, I have anxiety and panic disorder from couple of years, unfortunately nothing did work for me and i used every possible method (from yoga to medications) after these hard years i have spent with my demon i got used to it, i cried a lot that why my days are darkest and what lacks inside me, all the time i think about these thing without getting my mind off of it,finally discovered don’t have ample “inner peace”, inner peace which lies in a human spirit, I have money,I have food, I have house and I have friends still after all things i have nothing because i lack inner peace, i have no excitements for cosmic things, that’s means i will have to gain something for after wards the death, something that will work for me after that world, i don’t say you have anxiety because you’re not spiritual i say you’re not satisfied about yourself.


They suffer in silence because the answer is “Stay quite”

I was thinking about this issue but couldn’t get a time to write it down, it’s about the harassment, harassment is the worst thing that an individual does to another person, peoples seldom publicly depict it, this issue shouldn’t be label as “taboo”, peoples have suffered PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) especially girls and children just because of this taboo word, they still suffer and all we could say was “move on” how could they move on when they still haunt by those scary memories? Our youth isn’t safe as much we think it is, when a woman get inappropriate text messages from someone of course she gets terrified, she has to stay quite she can’t talk it out because it will hurt her dignity, and when a girl goes to college the boys wink, throw their numbers and even some abuse her but no one speaks for her right nor she tells maybe she knew the awnser “stay quite” things are so complicated for these girls they can’t get their chest off the burden, keep it till the last breathe and if she belonges to a conservative background, she will have to give up on her education eventually will get married, things are so complicated in our society there’s no safety of woman’s honour, a working woman who goes to her job to earn salary would get harassed like other womans, but her story is kinda different peoples would question “why does she goes to work if she really is respectable?” A woman is a daughter, wife, mother and sister yet she is not well honoured, is not her tolerance that she says nothing in the answers of those fingers peoples pointed at her, again she suffers in silence, In west when someone get assault they would file a case against the assaulter but in east one thousand cases go unreported per year, the real place for an assaulter is behind the bars, one day i met someone online in a forum, he was a predator sadly he was a 22 years old Muslim man and the girl he assaulted was her cousin and was only 15 years old she had to marry him since she had no other choice she left her school too it really saddened me, whilst i confronted him about the cruelty he did, he said “I did nothing wrong with her i am his husband now and i will tell her what to do and she will have to follow my command “, wow what a sickening “i asked what she did do to deserve it”? “woman is worthless and man is a king” he said that boiled my blood from inside with that i tried my best to make a sense in him but he called me “feminist” so i just stopped writing, I couldn’t make him understand it was his parents responsiblity to taught him it wasn’t mine so of course i lost an argument, probably his domestic environment would be like that i thought to my self, Yes domestic violence plays the major role in it , I see many womans experiencing the worst kind of abuse from the hands of their acquaintance or their spouses mostly, husbands command their wives as they were their slaves or made to be suffered, no matter what you have experienced you deserve to beloved if a man refuse to marry you because you were harassed don’t marry him either could not it be happen to his sister? Our youth need to be encouraged to take step against this heinous crime and vice versa, I don’t know if i will ever be able to change our minds perspective nevertheless, one person can change the world if willing to do

#talk it out#never stay quite

Can’t deny the reality

Sometimes i think i can solve my problems at my own, just by lefting it all on God he knows what i have been experienced and how i felt, he has my dearest heart and soul so my Lord will cure me, my mom says “this all happens when we believe on God” how far we should believe this? I know God helps us always, but he wants us to be help others and how much we prefer to help others? Rarely, yes we help others rarely as example a guy went to market to purchase something he saw an old man there, the man came to the boy and asked for some pennies the old man insisted but the guy refused to give him anything,the guy even abused him don’t we behave the same way as this guy did? We always ask for help and mercy from God but all we could do was this, i can recall mark Twain’s essay “the damned human race” when i first readed it I couldn’t understand what did he want to bring up, he narrated the callous, combative and violent nature of human beings opposed to the theroy “crown of the universe’ he exposed humans are the “lowest animals”, Now i liked this essay and believed he was right animals are better than us, animals don’t have senses like us but we do have after getting the every blessings of God we haven’t got the real meaning of being a human, we don’t do anything for anyone unless we have any kind of meaning, our inappropriate behaviour has became the cause of misfortune there i can’t see the awakening conscience in this world we all are living a lie not life, you would take my post as a pessimistic one but i can’t deny the reality because it has been years since we were on a right path, may my post bring prosperity amongst the youth

#bringing change

Achieve a good life

Giving up shouldn’t be an option, failure exist, better times ahead opportunity arrives at every single step, letting them go would be regretful, watch for time never let time watch for you, live life with love not make love before life, do struggle but keep patience, burn past before past burn you, make friends but be careful, do help and ask for help, be best version of you,get success but don’t sink in rivalry, don’t expect from life too much, turn vulnerabilities into the strength, stay blessed be grateful

~Fälák zìa

Be a humanist

The world is stood on the verge of chaos and we are still debating over religion, caste,race and ethnicity, that reminds me of great wars and rebellions led by old heroes (depends on persona) after the times when these wars took place, peoples were left hungry, broken, terrified and numerous peoples were brutally killed and the worst part of this no country or a state could stand by the victims, everyone holds their own policy no humanity, a single individual is getting annoy by the other one’s culture and religion, all this mess is because of opposing views, to the fact if there’s something wrong permitted in any religion i would have quit practicing mine, what you are? a Muslim, Christian, Hindu, Buddhist and a Zoroastrian, your religious views,  it’s all your choice and what you want to do, your faith must be strong but the core of your heart for others must be soft, no religion stimulate us to do evil but our heart does, be a peace maker to avoid bloodshed, once you make your mindset peaceful, you would get peace in every aspect of your life, be a good worshiper who knows how tie solid bond with the God

#peace#peaceful mindset#humanity first#secular

Depression, anxiety and stress taboo topics in our society

I still didn’t get it when i get anxious my friends disown me? A painful question i have heard several times,In our society they are “taboo” or we just can’t talk about these things i don’t know why but a part of me says it’s just because we don’t have enough mental health awareness yes mental health we don’t pay our attention to these topics they are weird or probably beyond the weird, I have been experienced depression and anxiety since i was in grade 5th i didn’t knew what was that? I told my parents many times but they thought that’s because of  lack of energy but i wasn’t stable so they took me to a psychiatrist my parents told about my situation, he said that’s so normal at that age and prescribed me antidepressants i ate until 2 weeks yet no benefit, well life passes like a moving cattle and i am still coping with it what i learnt about is precious to me maybe very very precious i am glad that i have experiences, peoples get rid of a mentally exhausted person since it is their own folks they won’t feel sympathetic for them at all, but they will have to put off this tag taboo from mental illness it can happen to anyone yesterday it was me tomorrow it would be who our struggle isn’t perishable my mother says;

#more power to my dear anxious friends you aren’t alone neither God has forgotten about you.

Black or white: beauty inside or out?

I was thinking to open up with this topic from a long time but couldn’t post, last night i joined a forum peoples was discussing their personal stories and i accompanied them, there one woman told me her story that how she got divorced and what made her so depressed, she told she has 3 children and got separated after been in a marriage for 12 years, she told me the worst part of being in a marriage is you have spent your time with a guy who never approved you through out these years, I asked what was the reason behind this disapproval, she said i was” chubby and black”, he was a white man and she was a black (Nigerian), “he never had loved me as i used to, he would always criticized me and called me names especially at public places, “ugly duckling”that was what he used to say, his behavior got really nastier when i stopped him to do that, whenever he went to a party with me he would stared at other girls,I caught him once in an extra marital relationship, i knew he wasn’t interested in me so i started to got up earlier to workout, I lost 20kgs soon had done severals facial and spa and worn the outfits he liked to keep him interested even my friends noticed the changes in me but he failed to see, he was handsome and he disowned my children because their complexion wasn’t fair,at that point i roared for my kids rights they didn’t deserved it he bested me up for that i was in so much pain emotional as well as physical all i wanted was to get rid of this sick guy “she wrote then i asked did you ask him for divorce? She said  it wasn’t her choice she hadn’t have money to move in an apartment that’s why she wanted to stick with him, he fell in love with another girl whom he worked with and got married, further she told she got a good job even though she didn’t expected it and bought a house, I questioned if she is living as she wanted to now? “I have still scars of what had happened in the past but i did let go everything for my kids” she wrote, i felt really bad for her, it is not our matter of choice to born the way we want, it’s God who makes his creatures as he wants and undoubtedly his decisions are best, why peoples ruin other peoples life just for the sake of beauty? beauty lies in a humans character (inside) not in only face, who says beauty is everything? Your colour doesn’t matter neither your body your spirit does, be happy with what the way you are and don’t be a racist and someone who runs behind the perfection.